Friday, April 01, 2011

A lie we have all told

"I have read and accept the terms and conditions"

No, you haven't. You haven't read clause 2.5c stating that you will donate your first born to Bill Gates if you don't want your PC to bluescreen. You haven't read clause 1.2.6 of Apple's T&C stating that if you purchase a Mac, you must worship Steve Jobs like he's an omnipotent bearded deity. I can imagine the Westboro Mactist Church holding picket signs telling PC users that they're going to hell.

Nobody except lawyers read these things, yet we accept the conditions that they offer because we want to access the damn product. It's similar to when we're installing a program and the 'Back' and 'Cancel' buttons feel rejected while the 'Next' button is getting physically abused by our cursor. We don't care about the finer details! We just want to access our freshly made Gmail or Ebay account, or play the new game that we've legally downloaded. I would definitely struggle to recall the exact number of terms and conditions that I have accepted this year. Anti-virus, online games, the census, forum accounts, random software downloads, and of course - my new blog. I probably can't remember half of the times because it seems to just blend in with the process.

The thing that amuses me when I do actually glance at the T&C is the language they use - it's total legal jargon. I love the way that they try to cover themselves for almost any eventuality. They are not at fault for anything and/or everything that someone, anyone or everyone may or may not have possibly caused. Wait... what? If you are unfamiliar with what I'm talking about - go and read one.

No... actually don't, just accept the conditions and move on with your life.

48 comments:

MrChris said...

Haha, a man after my own heart :) I'd follow you but I can't find where on your blog :O :'( It would be a shame indeed to not get a regular feed from something as good as this.

Jay Reid said...

I'll sort that out right away my friend, it'd be because I was messing around with the CSS. Oops.

MrChris said...

Followed <3 xD And thank you for re-adding it haha

blaza1 said...

haha! great blog :P following and supporting!

Borre Kool said...

It's what everyone does XD

Minecraftblogger said...

This blog is pass-around-the-office material ^^

Janez said...

I loved your post. I have never in my life read the conditions and terms, lol

doomsday said...

this made me l.o.l :D

doomsday said...

Nice blog, good luck with it, sir!

Cory said...

I hear that on the T&C, freaking crazy as hell. :P good post!

Raving It Tech said...

Well said!! Adding you to my follow list!

Grumbler said...

Hah, the legal gibberish... I've translated some of those. It was hell.
I'm adding you to my afternoon coffee.

amBored said...

you have awesome blog template :) looking forward to your posts +followed

Oscar said...

If we read everything, we would sign nothing.

DVNO said...

Great stuff :] followed!

Intraman said...

ahah right no one ever reads this stuff

Ian497 said...

It's a joke, they should at least make the writing a bit bigger!

Cherish said...

Accept and go.

Fenno said...

That's good stuff. I never even think twice about clicking the box and hitting the next button!

Frank Garbachino said...

lol no one ever reads stuff :P

Ron Burgundy said...

Too true, great points!

+Following

SOMS said...

They try to cover their asses so bad! Great read, +1 following.

Tommy said...

Thanks !

Vexu said...

love the design of your blog :)

adiaphoros said...

reminds me of this one time where a company actually included ownership of the soul in the terms.

Fishy Corporation said...

haha nice text man, followed :D

Amélia Campos said...

True fact nobody ever reads the terms and conditions :p

Parallel-Reality Hero said...

I don't have to read the TaC. Steve Jobs already has my eternal worshipping!

modernb said...

Scroll to the bottom, click comments!

Haha jk, terms and conditions do annoy me though; most of should just be stuff that can be assumed...

Lemmiwinks said...

i like your blog. keep up the good work

Quetopia said...

you seem a little mad, but in a rational way.

R.C said...

Back when I was a kid and I was installing a computer game for the first time...I actually read the entire term and service agreement. I'll never do that again, I don't care how badly it screws me over. Great article.

Adamuss said...

Just imagine that they tell you, that you must give them your house, because you haven't read those rules. :S

jmacabroad said...

thanks for sharing.

Dragmire said...

I never read the terms and conditions ever either.

Nate said...

I have never ever read one of these "terms"

Joubz said...

True, lol @ the guy who has to type all this legal sh1t and knows that nobody will read it..

Hansson said...

Couldn't agree more. However, what happens if you buy a product, but don't want to agree to the T&C. Do you get a refund? Or are you pretty much screwed?

INteresting post!

TheGeneral said...

Faith in the system.

Jay said...

i have read and understood this post. :D

Rockinrule said...

..what?

Tim Alberry said...

As per the aforementioned text scribed by James Reid ("the Blog") made subject to, unless specifically stated here, references to clauses are to clauses of this Blog, and already I have no idea what this is all about... goddammit. Well odds are that surely most of these peeps who make these T&Cs must be good and decent peeps - aren't they? Or not? Ah well, sign along the dotted line anyway, and sail close to the wave, well maybe not as close as along the coastline in Japan. Maybe I'll read the T&Cs for big stuff, and skip them for little.

Jay Reid said...

I think that has to be the best comment yet Tim, hahaha.

Clint Mullins said...

I tried to read them once, but it is literally the stupidest shit in there. My technologically inept parents would try to make me, "Clint, you shouldn't just accept contracts without reading them!"

Jacob said...

I've thought about this subject too, you can write everything in them and no one would read it so you can abuse the users

!mypetoctopus said...

haha oh wow...

Jessica Thompson said...

Very true. I definitely have a problem with the realism, as you mentioned... Supporting and following. alphabetalife.blogspot.com

Just Me said...

hahaha nobody reads the whole thing i struggle with half of it

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